


The Truth (That Is Your Family)

by lannisterslioness



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Coming of Age, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Training, New Jedi Order, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Redeemed Ben Solo, Skywalker Family Drama, Skywalker Family Feels, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-10 00:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11680239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannisterslioness/pseuds/lannisterslioness
Summary: Before he was part of the First Order, before he became Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren; he was Ben Solo. Only son to the war heroes Han Solo and Leia Organa, and strong with the Force just as his mother, uncle, and grandfather before him. Ben was just a boy, but what happened to change that boy into Kylo Ren?





	The Truth (That Is Your Family)

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: so i've had this idea for a while, i've wanted to write this down for ages. i don't know what really sparked it just that i wanted to try writing something a little different. there are no ships or anything like that going on in this fic, just a regular old character study type piece to explore one of my favorite characters some more! <3 
> 
> P.S. this chapter is mostly centered on Leia telling the story because of how young Ben is in this chapter!

            Leia always worried about Ben.

 

            Everyone who was a parent that surrounded her told her that it was natural to worry about your child, especially your _only_ child. She didn’t know if it was her lingering fear still left over from the years of fighting a war, or just her maternal instincts that made her think she needed to protect Ben from everything, more specifically the slight disturbance she still felt in the Force. Then again, she’d become wary of everyone and everything that came near her and her family since she discovered Ben was strong with the Force, just like her and Luke. Han called her overprotective too, said there was nothing to worry about in the new galaxy they built, but Leia could never shake the feeling, especially when Luke offered to start teaching Ben the ways of the Jedi.

 

            “He’ll be in the safest place in the whole galaxy with Luke training him.” Han said.

 

            Han had just come back from a run, sitting in Leia’s office with Ben in his arms, their little three-year-old toddler with his arms wrapped tightly around his father’s neck. Leia ran a hand through Ben’s dark curls, the boy fidgeting to get away from her fussing.

 

            “I know he would be, but…I can’t let him go, not now.” Leia said.

 

            _Not ever_ , she thought to herself; it was her little boy, how could she ever think of letting him go?

 

            Han looked up at her and she wondered if he could sense the true hesitation in her if he could tell there was something off that made her feel the need to keep Ben so close at all times. He seemed to understand well enough, holding Ben just a bit tighter before letting out a sigh.

 

            “If it makes you feel better that he stays, I see no problem with him staying a while longer. He’s our son, and three is awfully young if you ask me for any kid to start learning anything. Plus, how am I supposed to teach him how to fly the Falcon if he goes away already?” Han asked.

 

            Leia smiled, it was typical Han, he acted tough but wanted to keep their son just as close to him as Leia kept him. It was that very act he put on that made everyone around her question why she’d marry a man like him and start a family, but they didn’t know the same Han Solo that she knew. Leia wasn’t a fool though, she knew Luke would need to take Ben and train him at some point, someone untrained in the Force was just as deadly as someone who was well trained, perhaps worse since they couldn’t control it. She knew she couldn’t hold on to her baby boy forever, Han knew it too, but just a little bit longer couldn’t hurt.

 

            “I think he’d like those trips every once in a while, how else is he going to be one of the best pilots in the galaxy if he doesn’t learn from the best.” Leia said.

 

            On that note, it was Han’s turn to smile, Ben burying his face into the crook of Han’s neck, trying to hide that he was falling asleep and that it was past his naptime.

 

            “We can start with a little lesson later on, but I think I could go for a nap right about now, how about you, kid?” Han asked.

 

            Ben nodded his head, always willing to follow his father wherever he went, even if it was for the dreaded nap time. Sometimes Leia wondered if Han knew just how much their son truly loved him, and how many similarities she already saw between the two of them. She wondered if it would be just as hard for Han to say goodbye to Ben as it would be for her when the time came.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

            It was just another day in her office – papers to sign, meetings to go to, and keeping track of her now four-year-old son. Han was gone, they’d had some fight over something stupid and he went off on some run doing who knows what. He’d call her in a day and they’d apologize for what they said to one another, that’s how it always went between them even though Leia hated that. She hated that Ben was the one who truly had to suffer out of their arguments and fighting. But things would be alright today at least, Luke was there keeping Ben busy while Leia went from meeting to meeting in the morning. He used their time together to try and teach Ben what he could of the Force in-between Ben insisting on playing his favorite game.

 

            “He’s getting bigger every time I come and visit.” Luke said, a grin on his face as he caught a glimpse of Ben playing in the corner of the room.

 

            “I know, I have him with me every day and I swear he grows overnight.” Leia said.

 

            “He’s lucky to have a mom like you.” Luke said.

 

            “And he’s certainly lucky to have an Uncle like you. He might even have cousins one day if his Uncle ever gets around to it.” Leia said, a smirk playing on her lips.

 

            “Maybe someday,” Luke said, laughter following, “you have to sort of find someone first, you beat me to that and got a head start on the whole family thing.”

 

            “Somehow I did.” Leia said, a small smile faltering while she thought of Han. “But when you do get around to it I think you’ll be great at it, you’re already teaching and taking care of all those kids – “

 

            “With a lot of help.” Luke said.

 

            “I know, but still – “

 

            Before Leia could finish her sentence, a blaster shot rang through the room, causing both Luke and Leia to duck in panic for a moment. Leia got up from her desk and ran over to Ben who looked terrified and on the verge of tears. She noticed the blaster on the ground beside him as soon as she scooped him into her arms – her blaster to be exact, the one she kept with the safety on and up on the highest shelf she could reach in her office.

 

            “Ben, sweetie, are you okay?” Leia asked, her eyes scanning over him and feeling slight relief that the only thing harmed was the wall with a brand-new hole in it. “What happened? How did you get mommy’s blaster?”

 

            “I’m sorry mommy.” Ben began bawling, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

 

            “Shh, it’s okay sweetheart.” Leia said, keeping her tone calm and soothing while she pressed a kiss into his dark, curly hair. “It’s alright, I’m not mad, as long as you’re okay. Are you hurt?”

 

            Ben shook his head, keeping his face hidden while he slowly stopped crying. Luke walked up beside them and picked Leia’s blaster up off the ground, putting the safety back on before setting it on her desk. He looked at her with a worried glance and Leia knew what they had to talk about – the only way Ben could have gotten her blaster was by using the Force to reach it. He couldn’t control it, especially not so young still, but he had to learn how to in order to keep himself and others around him safe.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

            Leia put it off for another year, she just couldn’t let Ben go. She knew it was selfish and wrong to keep him for so long, especially after what had happened with her blaster incident last year, but she just couldn’t bear the thought of letting her baby go just yet. But the time had finally come, she couldn’t protect Ben from himself for forever, and she hardly knew enough about the Force to train him herself. Luke would take care of Ben, there was no question about that, and she’d still visit Ben every chance she could, but it was hard for her to come to terms with her son being planets away from her.

 

            The day, however, was finally here; Han and Chewie had been on the planet the longest they’d ever been since the month Ben was born. C-3PO had made the trip as well, taking up the chance to not only say goodbye to his young little companion but to see his old friend R2-D2, the two droids checking Luke’s ship before take-off. Luke tried to calm Ben’s nerves about leaving, but nothing could convince Ben of leaving Leia’s side; she was a bundle of nerves and knew Ben could sense it. It took every fiber of her being to keep tears from falling from her eyes, knowing that soon she wouldn’t have those little arms wrapped around her anymore – not for a while.

 

            “I don’t want to go, mommy, I’ll be good, I promise.” Ben said, his brown eyes welling up with tears now as well as he looked up at her.

 

            Leia kneeled down to his height as Ben let go, brushing those stray tears that fell off of his face and forcing a smile. He looked so much like his father, she hated to say goodbye to Han every time he left, and now she had to say goodbye to Ben, it only made things that much harder.

 

            “You’re not going away because of anything like that Ben, Uncle Luke is just going to teach you how to control the Force, so you’ll know how to use it.” Leia said.

 

            “I don’t wanna go, I wanna stay with you.” Ben protested.

 

            How could she send her baby away? What kind of mother was she to do such a thing? She knew Luke could sense how she was breaking down seeing Ben like this, but it was Han who cut in, kneeling beside Leia and putting a hand on his son’s shoulder.

 

            “Ben, I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for all of us. We don’t want you to go, we love you more than anyone else in the whole galaxy, you know that, right?” Han asked.

 

            After a reluctant moment, Ben nodded his head.

 

            “I know you don’t want to go, but it’s not that bad. You get to learn about the Force, you’ll make a bunch of new friends that are just like you, and your mom and I will visit all the time, it’ll be like you never even left.” Han assured him.

 

            “…Really?” Ben asked.

 

            “Really.” Han replied. “Uncle Luke is going to take good care of you, plus, when I get to visit, I’ll still give you all those lessons in the Falcon.”

 

            At the mention of that, Ben cracked a smile, and for the first time all day, Leia felt a little bit better.

 

            “But right now, you’ve got to be brave, alright? Your mom and I are going to miss you so much, your mom is probably going to call you every five minutes to check in on you. Right now though, she’s having a hard time seeing you so upset, you’ve got to be brave for her, can you do that?” Han asked.

 

            Ben looked toward Leia and seemed to realize her sadness now. Wordlessly, Ben wrapped his arms around her and Leia hugged him back without hesitation.

 

            “I’m sorry mommy, I’ll be brave I promise.” Ben mumbled into their embrace.

 

            Leia pressed a kiss to his cheek, enjoying the embrace just a moment longer until they had to part. Ben gave Han a hug as well before heading to Luke’s side, his tiny hand grabbing ahold of Luke’s when he was ready to go. They’d said their goodbyes, they knew the plans, Leia knew Ben would be okay – but nothing could ever prepare a mother to say goodbye to their son, no matter how temporary it was. She watched them board the ship, watched it take off and leave them behind, and once they were gone, Leia allowed herself a moment to just break down and cry. Han’s arms wrapped around her, but nothing could fill the void her baby boy had just left behind.


End file.
